What I'm Learning

Processing a move back to my home country is emotionally and mentally draining. Today, I spent time with others in my community talking about what we’ve learned in our time here as well as things to keep in mind as we begin to “think destination” and adjust to our new life elsewhere. This is hard! So much of me does not want to begin thinking about waking up back in America, mostly because I can’t just jump back in the car and take a little weekend trip down the road to a place called China.

As we spent the day reflecting, I was reminded of a great lesson learned here, unfortunately the hard way. People and relationships are, by far, more important than work. Now, every job involves people and relationships; however, I find that I have often let the responsibilities of my job overshadow the relationships, not just professionally but also personally. The counselor I’ve been seeing said in a recent session, “We make time for the things that are important to us.” My internal response was, “In theory” because I have not made that a priority, even though I desire true, honest and open community with others. My life has been dominated by “to do lists”, lesson plans, and essays to grade.


While countless bits of information from today’s seminar rang true in my current situation, one nugget really pierced me. The question was “how do I view the world?”. Three options were given: scenery, machinery, people. The speaker asked if we treated people like scenery or machinery? Wow, I was guilty. I, so often, in my busy, selfish workday treat others as machinery, not truly taking the time to get to know those around me. Bypassing opportunities to know remarkable individuals who have an amazing life story that deserves to be shared with others. Bypassing the opportunity to tell someone that I do truly appreciate the contribution they are also making in the lives of our students. Bypassing the opportunity to let that individual build into my life and teach me.

Again, I was reminded of why it is that I’m moving to something new. Though it is remarkably hard some days to think about letting go of China and of teaching high school English, there is a stirring in my heart to go deeper in life and in relationships, and a deep desire to meet people in a place in their lives where they long to be known, long to share the deep cries of their heart, and see themselves walk away changed. Now, what job description says exactly that? Wo bu zhi dao. I don’t know, but I’m looking forward to finding out.