Sunday, March 28, 2010

All That You Can’t Leave Behind

“And love is not the easy thing...
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on”
--“Walk On”, U2
A friend recently asked what would be the hardest thing about leaving China. My answer: waking up the morning after I arrive back in the states and having the reality of not being there fully hit me.

There have been moments these days where I consistently come back to the thought, “You can’t ask this of me” or “I can’t let this go”. In those moments, my thoughts prompt me to consider that if it were easy I’d be relying solely on my own strength. Today, as I thought about it, I realized, “He gave EVERYTHING up for me (Phil. 2: 7-8). How can I not surrender this, too?”.

My flesh fights with my spirit in wanting so badly to hold tightly to this, yet I cannot, for holding on to it is counter to the Son’s teaching to his disciples.

As the goodbyes begin and the days move more quickly off the calendar, I know that despite the ache I will walk on and towards the prize promised, but not in my own strength.

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